Ready, Fire! Aim.

I've been writing some shit

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 11:39:00 +0000

It’s just a diary really. I swear too much, but it’s cathartic or whatever. Have a read if you want. Sorry I’ve not been about here. I do check in from time to time though. And I tweet a bloody lot still. Lots of Love and I hope you had a good Christmas xox

True story. I neeeeeeeeed a job!

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 10:39:22 +0000

True story.

I neeeeeeeeed a job!

formspring.me

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:36:25 +0000

How much wood could a woodchuck actually chuck? Bearing in mind they have a bad back and also stress-related issues. Yet they also have a family of six woodchucks to feed, dependent on their woodchucking salary.

I think it’s actually pretty irresponsible for a woodchuck to chuck wood anywhere. I mean, where does he chuck it? What if he chucks it and it hits some poor unsuspecting passer by on the head and knocks them out? And what if the six woodchuck children go and rob the unconscious person who’s just been clunked on the head with the wood that daddy woodchuck has chucked at them? Thieving little bastards. Well I guess that would solve the problem of them buying food and stuff.
Anyway, I thought woodchucks were birds, can’t they just dig up a worm instead of throwing wooden missiles?

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:23:47 +0000

Is there grass on the pitch?

Is this a euphamism? Are you really asking me if I shave my lady garden? Or do you want to know if there’s grass of a football pitch? If so, yes, most football pitches have grass on them, by their very nature. Unless it’s one of those fake grass ones. And fake grass on the pitch does not transfer well to the lady garden euphamism. Who the hell would wear a pube wig?!

Ask me anything

Oops forgot to sent these to Tumblr. As I'm sure you're all waiting on the edge of your seat for the answers.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:10:00 +0000

Questions Answered

Why don’t we just ask google rather than you?

Because how can you take anything seriously that is not a proper word? Google. Say it, again and again. Google google google google google google google. See? It’s lost all meaning. Where as I, apparently, have nice boobs. Google can’t say that. And yes, entirely relevant.

Why don’t you follow me, like ever. It makes me really sad :’(

Who are you? Say hello on Twitter and I’ll follow you. I didn’t not follow intentionally. Unless you’re that burk who sent me dead things in the post. Come say hi!

Is it the same person asking all these questions? or does no one actually have a job these days?

It could be the same person asking them. It’s done anonymously so I don’t know who’s asking what. I just hope my dad isn’t asking any of them. Which I doubt, because he doesn’t know I’m on twitter. And yes, unemployment is at an all time high. And I’ll be joining those jobless feckers unless I can get a job super quick. Oh well, if I don’t, at least I’ll be able to watch Jeremy Kyle.

You’re a crazy lass and I love you. It not be a question, I grant you that, but never a truer word was said and I don’t care who knows it! What? Anonymous you say? Well, I’ll be. In that case, smack that ass of yours for me then, will you?

Consider my ass well and truly smacked! And thank you!

What don’t you do?

Rimming.

can i just say nice boobs? i don’t want MI5 coming down on my arse

You’re welcome for my nice boobs.

What’s the geometrical meaning of the central extension of the algebra of diffeomorphisms of the circle?

This question is impossible to answer as nobody has been able to prove or disprove any potential answers. (I haz a google, wiseass)

why is everyone on this formspring thingy for?

Formspring is regularly read by MI5. If they find someone sufficiently clever enough, they’ll recruit them to protect the national security of our crappy little country.

Do you like dried banana chips?

No! That’s like sweets for swampy hippy people and their kids. Fuck off and give me peanut M&Ms any day!

Do i still owe you that £500? Or will you accept this pair of ladies thermal socks i found in my office? by Mr7

Pay up, tight ass! Thermal socks indeed. And why do you keep your wank socks in your office? Ugh.

Does my bum look big in this?

I dunno, but your bum probably looks bigger out of it. Whatever it is.

What are your thoughts on the European Barn Owl?

What’s this about European? Is his Barn Owl just French, and afraid to admit it?

when you look down, what is the first thing you see? is it your boobs, your feet or the floor? and why?

Boobs. Why? Because I have boobs what are not tiny wee fried eggs.

What is this shit and why is everyone doing it all of a sudden?

This is so people can ask other people cheeky or personal questions without people finding out who the people were wot asked. It is a pile of shit, but I’m leaving this job soon and am on hold on the phone so why the fuck shouldn’t I do it? Be more entertaining on Twitter and I wouldn’t have to do this! Love you.

What do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich town centre?

I don’t give a fuck. Where the fuck is Norwich? I don’t particularly care about it, unless it’s near Gloucester. Gloucester is the centre of the UK and right beside Brighton, Doncaster, Kent and London. Glasgow is just around the corner from it.

R u single

No. I’m double.

How do you take your tea and coffee?

I like my tea and coffee like I like my men. Strong, a little bit of milk, and no sugar. And not too hot. Wait. I like my men hot. And what kinda man has a little bit of milk? I’m talking shit.

What have you done in your past that you are most ashamed of? And what are you proudest of?

If I treat people badly, that makes me feel ashamed. It’s never on purpose, it’s normally me being misguided and fucking things up because I’m a bit of a fuck up at times. I’m most proud of my son. And I’ve swallowed about 5 tongue bars and not died as well, which I’m pretty proud of.

Where’s my fucking mobile phone??????

I don’t fucking know! Get off your lazy arse and look for it!

formspring.me

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:43:17 +0000

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/crazycolours

mr-7: Secret tumblr audio post the second. OHMYGOSH You have a...

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 10:53:14 +0000

mr-7:

Secret tumblr audio post the second.

OHMYGOSH You have a voice and it’s really nice, quite posh too!

This surprises me for some reason.

Stuff I've been doing and stuff

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 13:53:49 +0000

I’ve not posted an awful lot lately because trying to use more than 140 characters to articulate myself is too much effort.

So I’m on some super duper meds that make me so damn tired all the time. It was a rough week or so trying to get used to them in the first place; I was sick. A lot. But now my brain has got used to the new chemistry going on in it and I feel better. I’m not really stressed any more, my heart doesn’t feel like it’s going to explode any more and I actually feel more sensible. Or maybe it’s cos the meds make me go so slow, that I have time to engage my brain before I act/think/decide/talk now-a-days. Whatever, I like them. God help anyone who tries to take them off me now!

Lets see…. I also quit my job. I’m still working there, but only until Christmas. I’m a wee bit scared as there are literally NO jobs out there at the moment. Fucking recession. I’m sure I’ll find something.

Erm…. Things with Damo are still going good. I’ve been to London quite a bit to see him and had a good time with him, and his friends and family: his kids are soooo cute! We went to a wedding where the bride started giving people lap dances and that was fun, although Damo got nervous.

I’m going to Ethiopia in July to build houses for poor/sick people. For serious. I’ve always wanted to visit Africa.

And my kid is a little genius. He’s 4, and a year ago his language age was 1.5 - 2 years old. Yesterday he got assessed again and his language and reading age is 7. Just gotta figure out the best way to teach him stuff so he can carry on being a genius and the autism doesn’t hinder him too much.

And I think that’s all from me!

Lots of Love and I do lurk and read your stuff when I can… just find it hard to think of stuff to post.

Crazycolours xxx

I got a blog for blogging, you know, writing stuff. Click through and subscribe or whatever it is you do with blogs.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 12:24:55 +0000

I got a blog for blogging, you know, writing stuff. Click through and subscribe or whatever it is you do with blogs.:

I’m not giving up on my tumblr though.

pocketcontents: itsapinkbear: theduty: exactly how i see...

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:19:34 +0000

pocketcontents:

itsapinkbear:

theduty:

exactly how i see it.

Now you mention it, me too.

summing up 2009

Yup.

I don't quite know what to say yet.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:15:36 +0000

I'm quiet, aren't I?

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 13:44:38 +0000

I’m ok, brain just a bit mashed/fried/whatever. I promise to catch up with all your biz soon.

Love,

Crazycolours x

(via explodingdog)

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:04:55 +0000

(via explodingdog)

29 minutes

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:42:56 +0000

The amount of time it takes for my meds to mash my brain up after I take them.

blanddiva11: Tonight these hugs go to ruthakers, stefaroo, and...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:21:05 +0000

blanddiva11:

Tonight these hugs go to ruthakers, stefaroo, and crazycolours . And anybody else who needs them.

Thank you, pretty. I’ll definately take mine. I’d also take a hold-your-hair-back-while-you-chuck too, but maybe we don’t know each other well enough for that.

Love you!

I’ve been a size 20 and a size 0. One of the worst days of my life was when I got to size...

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 05:04:37 +0000

I’ve been a size 20 and a size 0. One of the worst days of my life was when I got to size 0. I knew it was too skinny, yet I still felt fat. I find confidence trumps body size any day. Learn how to grow some confidence and you’ll be grand. Confidence is not found in a fashion magazine or size 0 pair of skinny jeans FYI.

I'm still awake

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:47:34 +0000

It’s nearly 5am here and I’m awake. I’m not sure whether it was the urgent need to projectile vom (yeah yeah TMI) or next door neighbours party that woke me. Either way, next door neighbours party and projectile vomiting has kept me busy for the past hour or so. I’m glad everyone else is asleep because I can’t remember the last time I was in this bad a mood. I’d fight with Saint fucking whoever right now. (I’m not catholic so I don’t know who the saints are.)

"We can go killing with teaspoons too, no worries! xx"

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:57:43 +0000

“We can go killing with teaspoons too, no worries! xx”

- @nik_kee_dee to me. She gets me.

rugmunching fruit

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:48:00 +0000

Using your own blood, write down your advice on being rational. Then set this piece of paper on fire, and eat the ashes. Why? Because, fuck you, that's why.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:56:00 +0000

So I’m on some serious medication right now. And that is pretty much how I feel right now. Angry and irrational. Really, it’s like the pent up angst, hate and emo-ness has been sucked out of a dozen teenage goths and given to me. As well as that, I’m dizzy, shakey, I’m going to throw up and time is not going at the same speed it usually does. [insert jokey ending here cos I can’t be fucking bothered]

(edit: the bit in the big letters is pretty much the same thing @glinner said one time. Should show attribution, shouldn’t I?)