3 hours ago
1 day ago
True story.
I neeeeeeeeed a job!
1 day ago
formspring.me
How much wood could a woodchuck actually chuck? Bearing in mind they have a bad back and also stress-related issues. Yet they also have a family of six woodchucks to feed, dependent on their woodchucking salary.
I think it’s actually pretty irresponsible for a woodchuck to chuck wood anywhere. I mean, where does he chuck it? What if he chucks it and it hits some poor unsuspecting passer by on the head and knocks them out? And what if the six woodchuck children go and rob the unconscious person who’s just been clunked on the head with the wood that daddy woodchuck has chucked at them? Thieving little bastards. Well I guess that would solve the problem of them buying food and stuff.
Anyway, I thought woodchucks were birds, can’t they just dig up a worm instead of throwing wooden missiles?
formspring.me
You (and your accent) are adorable. Do more audio posts!
I’ll do one at the soonest opportunity! Thank you!
formspring.me
Is there grass on the pitch?
Is this a euphamism? Are you really asking me if I shave my lady garden? Or do you want to know if there’s grass of a football pitch? If so, yes, most football pitches have grass on them, by their very nature. Unless it’s one of those fake grass ones. And fake grass on the pitch does not transfer well to the lady garden euphamism. Who the hell would wear a pube wig?!
formspring.me
What would happen if you put a chameleon on a mirror?
Jesus Christ that’s like going back in time and meeting your self as a baby! You’d watch it crawling about for a while but then the whole space time continue thingy would get ripped or something. I recommend you get a leopard gecko instead. Much less changy and they have more personality.
Oops forgot to sent these to Tumblr. As I'm sure you're all waiting on the edge of your seat for the answers.
Questions Answered
Why don’t we just ask google rather than you?
Because how can you take anything seriously that is not a proper word? Google. Say it, again and again. Google google google google google google google. See? It’s lost all meaning. Where as I, apparently, have nice boobs. Google can’t say that. And yes, entirely relevant.
Why don’t you follow me, like ever. It makes me really sad :’(
Who are you? Say hello on Twitter and I’ll follow you. I didn’t not follow intentionally. Unless you’re that burk who sent me dead things in the post. Come say hi!
Is it the same person asking all these questions? or does no one actually have a job these days?
It could be the same person asking them. It’s done anonymously so I don’t know who’s asking what. I just hope my dad isn’t asking any of them. Which I doubt, because he doesn’t know I’m on twitter. And yes, unemployment is at an all time high. And I’ll be joining those jobless feckers unless I can get a job super quick. Oh well, if I don’t, at least I’ll be able to watch Jeremy Kyle.
You’re a crazy lass and I love you. It not be a question, I grant you that, but never a truer word was said and I don’t care who knows it! What? Anonymous you say? Well, I’ll be. In that case, smack that ass of yours for me then, will you?
Consider my ass well and truly smacked! And thank you!
What don’t you do?
Rimming.
can i just say nice boobs? i don’t want MI5 coming down on my arse
You’re welcome for my nice boobs.
What’s the geometrical meaning of the central extension of the algebra of diffeomorphisms of the circle?
This question is impossible to answer as nobody has been able to prove or disprove any potential answers. (I haz a google, wiseass)
why is everyone on this formspring thingy for?
Formspring is regularly read by MI5. If they find someone sufficiently clever enough, they’ll recruit them to protect the national security of our crappy little country.
Do you like dried banana chips?
No! That’s like sweets for swampy hippy people and their kids. Fuck off and give me peanut M&Ms any day!
Do i still owe you that £500? Or will you accept this pair of ladies thermal socks i found in my office? by Mr7
Pay up, tight ass! Thermal socks indeed. And why do you keep your wank socks in your office? Ugh.
Does my bum look big in this?
I dunno, but your bum probably looks bigger out of it. Whatever it is.
What are your thoughts on the European Barn Owl?
What’s this about European? Is his Barn Owl just French, and afraid to admit it?
when you look down, what is the first thing you see? is it your boobs, your feet or the floor? and why?
Boobs. Why? Because I have boobs what are not tiny wee fried eggs.
What is this shit and why is everyone doing it all of a sudden?
This is so people can ask other people cheeky or personal questions without people finding out who the people were wot asked. It is a pile of shit, but I’m leaving this job soon and am on hold on the phone so why the fuck shouldn’t I do it? Be more entertaining on Twitter and I wouldn’t have to do this! Love you.
What do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich town centre?
I don’t give a fuck. Where the fuck is Norwich? I don’t particularly care about it, unless it’s near Gloucester. Gloucester is the centre of the UK and right beside Brighton, Doncaster, Kent and London. Glasgow is just around the corner from it.
R u single
No. I’m double.
How do you take your tea and coffee?
I like my tea and coffee like I like my men. Strong, a little bit of milk, and no sugar. And not too hot. Wait. I like my men hot. And what kinda man has a little bit of milk? I’m talking shit.
What have you done in your past that you are most ashamed of? And what are you proudest of?
If I treat people badly, that makes me feel ashamed. It’s never on purpose, it’s normally me being misguided and fucking things up because I’m a bit of a fuck up at times. I’m most proud of my son. And I’ve swallowed about 5 tongue bars and not died as well, which I’m pretty proud of.
Where’s my fucking mobile phone??????
I don’t fucking know! Get off your lazy arse and look for it!
3 days ago
mr-7:
Secret tumblr audio post the second.
OHMYGOSH You have a voice and it’s really nice, quite posh too!
This surprises me for some reason.
via mr-7
